No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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