Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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