Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
