All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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