i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
