I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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