And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
