I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
