At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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