Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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