So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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