Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
