May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize
