kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I think people are normalizing furries
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
