All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
