I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
