this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
