Bisexual people are plain selfish.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
