Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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