you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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