i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
