Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
