this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
