marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
