I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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