I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I think my moral compass just broke
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
