just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
