I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
