I'm really into asian looking animals
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
