If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
