Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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