I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
