$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
