I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
