I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
