hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
