it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
