they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
