party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
