No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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