how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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