Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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