What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
