She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
