You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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