that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
