so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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