Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
