Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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