i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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