Do vagina's smell?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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